Members only club

I found that after Zachary was born, I missed being pregnant (I'm sure this has a lot to do with the fact that, due to Zachary's early arrival, I didn't experience the 10th month and barely got to the point where I felt really uncomfortable). I missed my belly and how, for the first time since adolescence, I felt totally comfortable with my body. I missed the feeling of peace, contentment and fulfillment I felt, knowing that I was growing this miracle inside of me. I missed how "easy" it was to take care of this baby -- how my body fed and protected him. And I missed the smiles I got from other women, pregnant or not...how random female competitiveness had turned into comradery and support.

Now that I'm able to get out with Zachary, I'm finding that I don't have to miss all of that. Sure, I'm back to feeling insecure about my body (and then some, now that it's a post-baby body). And it's a lot more work to take care of him. But I still feel that fulfillment, knowing that this is our precious little boy. And I've found that, as long as I have Zachary with me, I'm part of this new club! I'm a mother, and all the other mothers I pass in the street or store or sit with in the Nordstrom lounge as we nurse are in the same club. And our secret handshake is a smile -- very similar to those smiles that made me feel so content when I was pregnant.

It's pretty neat.