Nice try

Last night, mama and daddy moved my co-sleeper to my own room so that I would sleep there. It's the first time I've slept anywhere other than their room, and I don't think I'm a very big fan of it.

I did OK at first because mama drugged me with her milk. She knows I can't resist it and I don't know how to control myself once I get started, so she just let me drink to excess until I could barely keep my head up. Once she got me good and groggy, she plopped me into the co-sleeper, kissed me good-night, and walked out of the room! Leaving me there! Alone! I couldn't believe her audacity, but I was so out of it I couldn't react and I passed out before I could do anything.

I woke up at 2 AM and was ready for a fight. I screamed for attention and mama FINALLY showed up (it's not like it used to be, when I could scream and she was there within 10 seconds). I was planning to express my displeasure at the new sleeping arrangements, but before I could protest she already had the boob out. And I couldn't resist.

At 4 AM I was up again and ready for battle. This time when mama came, I was prepared to ignore her offer of the milk-drug. But then I smelled it, and I couldn't help but start jonesin' for it. And can you believe this -- she wouldn't give it to me! She said something about trying to teach me to go for longer stretches between nursing at night, but I know that was just an excuse. What's she's really doing is establishing her control by giving me all I want until I'm addicted and then taking it away. Soon she'll be having me working for it, dealing to other babies on the playground so that I can get my fix.

Anyway, she just held and rocked and sang to me for about 30 minutes, then daddy came in and held me for a little bit. But I wouldn't stop crying -- I needed the milk-drug. After another 15 minutes, I guess mama decided that I'd suffered enough and she finally gave me my fix. I was fully planning to discuss the whole "sleep in my own room" thing right after I got the edge off, but once again mama filled me up until I passed out.

I popped up again at 6 AM. Same thing as 4 AM -- screaming, denying of the milk-drug, holding, rocking, singing until I fell asleep. Mama fell asleep too, while holding me in the glider. I thought that this might be my big chance to escape back to their bedroom, but I was just too tired and fuzzy-brained to move.

So last night was a draw. They may have put me in my own room...but they sure didn't get the rest they were hoping to get! And today I'm going to work on my self-control so that I'm ready for mama and her addictive milk-drug tonight.