Birth story

Now that I've managed to get about 8 hours of sleep in (not all at once, of course), I feel completely refreshed and ready to post our birth story! (See, I knew those years of all-nighters at MIT, architecture school and as a consultant would come in handy at some point...)

Just a warning: This post might be a bit too much information for people who aren't interested in the nitty-gritty details of labor and delivery, so feel free to stop reading now! Don't worry though, the pictures at the end are relatively tame.

As you know, I posted on Saturday afternoon describing how funny I was feeling. Apparently, I was in labor already and managed to skip that whole "hours and hours of early labor building up to active labor" part. We finally decided to call the doctor on Saturday evening when Chris commented that my contractions were lasting for a long time and coming pretty frequently. I starting timing them and realized they were 45 - 90 seconds long, at intervals of 2 - 5 minutes. I called the doctor and he told us to go to triage.

In triage, they determined that I was still only 2cm dilated and 70% effaced, but my contractions were very strong and fast so they were going to admit me. We moved to a birthing suite in Labor & Delivery, where they monitored me for awhile in bed before finally letting me use the mobile monitor so that I could move around to manage the pain. I bounced on a birthing ball, paced around the room, and rocked in the glider as I tried to breathe through the contractions. Since I am a relatively quiet person by nature, Chris and I were curious how I'd be in labor - quiet or vocal. Turns out I'm rather vocal.

Chris was watching the contractions on the monitor and started naming the big ones after mountains: "Oh honey, you just climbed K2! And there's Everest! Whew, you made it up Denali!" He would tell me when I had a 14er (a class of mountains that are all over 14,000 ft tall -- climbing one is referred to as "bagging a 14er"), which meant the contraction went off the top of the chart and stayed off for awhile before coming back down. I was bagging 14ers left and right and I was in a lot of pain. The next time the nurse checked my cervix, she determined that the baby was posterior (facing up instead of down) which was causing severe back labor. Since I broke my lower back and cracked my pelvis in 2003, my OB had already warned me that any back labor would probably be excruciating, and she was right. Prior to labor, I wondered if it would be more painful to be in labor or to break my back. I now know that being in back labor is just like breaking my back...every 2-3 minutes.

I moaned and groaned and rocked and bounced my way through about 6 hours of labor but I'd only dilated to 4cm and wasn't progressing. At that point I gave in and said I'd like an epidural because I was nauseous and exhausted from the pain and my 14er contractions were coming right on top of one another with no breaks. The nurse sent for the anesthesiologist -- who was in surgery. The back-up was also in surgery, so they called for the 3rd in line, who had to drive into the hospital from home. He made it about an hour later, but when they hooked me up they found that my blood pressure was too low and they were worried that I would not be able to tolerate the epidural. They gave me a low dosage to help take the edge off, and I was finally able to lie down for awhile. Although I could still feel every contraction and had to breathe through them to cope, I wasn't getting sick or light-headed anymore.

After about an hour, they checked my cervix again and saw that I still hadn't progressed past 4 cm. The doctor decided to break my waters to see if that would help, and it sure did! My contractions got even harder and faster (I must have climbed a hundred mountain ranges by the end of the night!), and I was dilating much more quickly. However, the baby started distressing (heart rate was decelerating dramatically) after each contraction. They were concerned that the cord was being compressed, so they filled my uterus back up with fluid! I didn't even know that was an option. They also added an internal monitor so that they could monitor the baby more accurately, as well as something that monitored the exact strength of my contractions. So now, I had at least three tubes coming out of me (fetal monitor, uterine contraction monitor, tube to keep uterus filled with saline) plus the epidural and a host of other wires and tubes. So much for a "natural" birth!

After a couple more hours, I was dilated to 7cm and the epidural had completely worn off. The baby was still posterior, and now I couldn't leave the bed to walk around because of all of the monitors. They called the anesthesiologist back and he gave me another light epidural. Again, I could feel the contractions clearly, but the pain was manageable. I continued to labor, but each time I had a contraction, the baby's heart rate decelerated to below 50. They couldn't figure out why and were getting concerned. They knew that I wanted to do a vaginal birth, but at this point the doctor was warning me that if the baby's heart rate continued to be so unstable they would need to do a c-section.

I have to say, the doctors and nurses were extremely supportive of my desire to do a vaginal birth. They stayed with me and let me continue to labor as long as I could, and the second I dilated to 10cm they had me start pushing. At this point, I'd labored for over 12 hours. They had me push for awhile and the baby was descended to +2, but it just wouldn't progress any further. The heart rate kept plummeting and it was taking longer and longer for the baby to recover. Finally, the doctor apologized and said that he needed to get me to the OR immediately. He said that we'd tried everything and he'd let me go as long as possible, but it was too dangerous to let me labor any longer.

Everything was a whirlwind after that. I was wheeled into OR, Chris was given scrubs, and I was surrounded by doctors and nurses as they prepped me. I have to say, I was completely unprepared emotionally for this. Even through the pain of labor, my spirits were high and I felt like I was managing things pretty well. But I completely broke down when I realized I was having to do a c-section. Chris was upset too as he held my hand and told me how proud he was of me and how we would be just fine and everything was going to go well. I just sobbed as I was wheeled into OR.

The c-section was a blur -- I could feel tremendous pulling and pressure but not really any pain. As they were operating, every time I felt a tug I'd say, "Is the baby out? Is it OK? What is it? Is it a boy or girl?" When they finally got him out and told me he's a boy, I started sobbing again. I watched them take him over to the bassinet area to work on him, and I was freaking out because he wasn't crying. I kept saying, "Why isn't he crying? Why isn't he crying?" and the nurses kept assuring me that he was fine, they just needed to help him start breathing. It seemed to me that it took a LONG time for him to breathe on his own. I could also see as they lifted his arms up and dropped them to test his responsiveness, and they would just flop down like doll arms. I was so scared, but they told me that he was going to be OK and not to worry.

At the same time, I was feeling very disoriented from the medication. I was dizzy and nauseous and shaking uncontrollably, and they kept adjusting the meds to try to help me stabilize. I also couldn't keep my eyes open -- I felt like I was drunk to the point of passing out. When I finally heard little Zachary crying, I was so happy and relieved. But I was so out of it from the meds that I couldn't function. Chris has pictures of me with tears running down my face, a smile, and my eyes closed because I couldn't keep them open.

They finally finished stitching me up and Zachary and I were stable enough to be moved. We were moved back to our birthing suite, where the nurse continued to work with Zachary, giving him a bath and taking his vital signs. Chris says we were in the birthing suite for a couple hours after delivery, but I can barely remember that time at all. We were then moved to our post-partum room, and I can't remember that either.

Zachary was born at 6:49AM on Sunday. We were in our post-partum room by 10 AM, and for most of that day I was pretty disoriented and confused from the surgery and the medication. It was a really tough time -- I'd see Zachary and know he was my baby, but I just couldn't put it all together in my brain. It was scary to me, but I couldn't even focus long enough to understand what was going on.

Finally in the middle of the night on Sunday, my head started clearing up (I was off the narcotics and on a lighter pain med) and that's when BANG! it hit me. I fell completely head over heels in love with my baby boy. I managed to struggle my way out of bed (ever try to get out of bed with two layers of stitches and one layer of staples holding your abdomen together?) so that I could take him out of his bassinet. I put him in bed with me and just lay there holding him and crying.

So that's my rather long-winded birth story. It wasn't what we planned or expected and there were some really difficult parts, but it was all so worth it! Zachary did have to spend one night in the infant care nursery because he was having trouble regulating his body temperature, and the poor little guy had to get his heel poked for a blood sugar test every 2 hours, but he's just fine now. To see some pictures from labor and delivery, click on the link below.

We are working on breastfeeding now and he's doing very well. The doctors said it might take awhile for him to completely catch on because he's premature and didn't have time to develop the suck/swallow reflex before he was born. He's finally starting to latch correctly, and I'm pumping every 2-3 hours to make sure we have enough milk for him in case he doesn't get what he needs from me directly. We're working on getting his weight up (he was down to 4lbs 13oz at our first check-up yesterday) and we hope that he'll be back over 5lbs soon. He's considered premature until he passes his due date (November 27) so we have to be a bit careful with him, but the pediatrician said that he's a very healthy baby and looks just great.

He's a strong, observant, sweet little boy and each day with him is just more and more amazing. I can't believe we brought this little miracle into the world!

Pictures: Labor and delivery